What do I want? Do I really know what I want? Most times I don’t really know what I want. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want hunger, pain, poverty, loss of relationships, illness and death. Sometimes the stress from what I don’t want becomes so overwhelming that I paradoxically even consider suicide!
It is getting clearer. What I want is to be in a place of certainty that all those things that I don’t want cannot affect me and disturb my peace of mind.
Is there such a place? At first consideration, such a place seems hypothetical, theoretical, mere fantasy, escapist and impossible. Why bother thinking about it?
On the other hand, what if…? What if there actually is such a place. What do I lose in looking for it? Even if I don’t find such a place, what have I lost?. However, if I find it, then……. So, why not?
Why I do what I do? I often wondered why I respond to a situation the way I respond. Interestingly, I have responded to the same event in different ways at different times. To the extent that one response can be opposite to the previous response. Why?
I have searched for answers. Nothing seems to be final, but I think it is something to do with my beliefs. If my belief about the situation changes, my response changes, even if the situation is the same.
I think my beliefs boil down to two basic categories. Is the situation beneficial to me or is the situation not beneficial to me. If I believe that it is beneficial to me, then I would want it. If I believe that it is not beneficial to me, then I wouldn’t want it.
Why do I choose to believe the way I believe? Most times it is based on experience of the same type of situation in the past and whether it was beneficial to me.
When I meet a new situation, I am lost. Not actually, because the new situation may resemble one in the past, and I can decide to lump them together and respond in the same way, at least for a start.
To believe one way or to believe another way is merely a decision based on my belief at that point in time.
Why do I believe what I believe? Because I decide to do so. Making a choice is a decision. I can choose to decide I no longer believe in what I used to believe in. I can choose to believe in something else, even the opposite.
Can I believe in anything? Yes, I merely decide to believe in it. Am I free to decide to believe in anything? I believe I am free to do so. I believe that any belief is only one decision away.
A fantastic story Suppose I tell you a fantastic story. It is fantastic because even by stretching my imagination, it sounds too good to be true. But why not hear me out. It may prove to be interesting.
Suppose, just suppose I have the privilege of being a spectator at creation. I will see the creator creating the universe and everything therein, including life and life forms.
Assuming, just assuming that this creator decided to want fellowship with created life forms. The creator started with spiritual life forms in the form of angels. Being like robots, they did not come up to the creator’s expectations of meaningful fellowship. The creator gave them choice, even the choice of rejecting the creator. One smart-aleck angel decided to rebel and persuaded one third of the angels to mount a coup d’etat. This mutiny failed and they were banished from the realm of the creator.
The creator still wanted to fellowship with life forms and created man and woman to fellowship with. The creator also gave them choice, and again even the choice of rejecting the creator. The fellowship went on well for a while.
Then the chief of the fallen angels possessed a snake who tried to persuade the woman and man to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The snake argued that it would make them as powerful as the creator.
The couple succumbed to this deception thereby placing themselves under the control of the chief of the fallen angels The consequence was banishment from the realm of the creator which is the same as destination death.
The creator still wanted fellowship with fallen man and woman. The creator chose one man called Noah, but his descendents rebelled. Then Abraham was chosen and the tribe which descended from him. Yet they also rebelled and finally, the creator sent the creator’s son in the form of a man.
The purpose of this is that the sacrificial death of this man called Yeshua will permit an exchange to take place. His life for mankind’s death, his perfection for man’s imperfection, his goodness for man’s evil etc. Also, Yeshua came to life again and returned to his father the creator
The idea was that if any person believes this story, the creator will adopt him or her as part of the family, Yeshua being the first-born in the family of the creator. A believer is considered by the creator as born-again and would be accepted unconditionally by the creator for fellowship.
The creator promised not to leave or forsake a believer forever. After I decide to believe this story, what I do or don’t do will not make any difference to my status as a family member of the creator.
There is a catch to this story. Who the creator chooses to hear and to believe this story is entirely up to the creator. Selection is entirely by grace or favor. Nothing I do or don’t do can influence the creator to select me. Interestingly, the selection has already taken place at the foundation of the universe.
Once I believe this story, I stop fearing death. I am enabled by an agent of the creator called holy spirit to focus on the creator’s son, Yeshua. Holy spirit enables me to cast all my cares to Yeshua. When I meet up with a problem, my attitude is as follows. “Hey! I didn’t ask to be created, so it is not my responsibility to solve this problem. Therefore, Yeshua, please take over.”
The extent that this attitude is employed is the extent of peace of mind I enjoy. The problem may not change immediately but the burden of responsibility is instantly lifted off my shoulders. Many a time, circumstances change and the problem shifts from appearing as a curse to appearing as a blessing.
Should I believe this story?What if it is fiction?So what? What do I have to lose??
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